Once again the Tide played an unranked opponent and won the game. And once again, the fans are complaining about how they won. And some of that is understandable. But let’s pretend you only watched the 1st and 3rd quarters of the game – what would be your impression then? Well, probably you’d have a couple of questions: 1) How in the world did Colorado State score 23 points??? and 2) Who dropped dead in order for this to happen??
The first quarter was about as dominant as you’re going to get from a college football team. Bama took the opening kick and drove 75 yards in 6 plays (the last being a 27 yard run up the middle by Jalen). Then after the defense held the Rams to a 3 and out, the Tide took over on their own 5 and proceeded to go 95 yards in 4 plays (the last being a 78-yard TD pass to Calvin Ridley). Then after another 3 and out, they had another 6 play drive that ended in an Andy Pappanastos 46-yard field goal. The quarter ended with the score 17-0 and with the defense having only allowed the Rams 11 yards total offense.
Maybe it was that dominating start that caused everyone to relax in the second quarter – but whatever happened, the guys in green and gold gained 155 yards and scored 10 points so that with 2 minutes left in the first half, the Tide’s lead was only 7. The 2 minute drill resulted in another TD (a beautiful pass and run to Robert Foster for 53 yards) to make the halftime score, 24-10. But, still, not quite dominating.
After the required halftime “ass-chewing” – the Tide came out and again dominated the 3rd quarter so that with 14 minutes left in the game, the score stood at 41-10 and the game was basically over. But then the Rams scored two more TDs in the final 14 minutes to give everybody a reason to be disgruntled.
So, what to make of all this? It seems to us that there some reason for concern and some reasons to be encouraged. It’s hard to draw any sound conclusions from games like this which, though at times were close, they were really never in doubt. Jalen seemed to show some improvement passing the ball. The offensive line was sometimes impressive and then sometimes not. The defense was stifling at times and then at other times seemed to more holes than a sieve (of course losing 5 linebackers can explain a good many of those holes) – but sometimes, the tackling . . . ugh. Good friend Andy P. was 2 for 2 on plus 40 field goals (hooray!) and looked solid. J. K. was J. K (aka “the Most Valuable Player). So, at the end of the evening, there were reasons to feel better and some reasons for worry.
The only major injury was Miller Forristall – and it was a bad one (torn ACL, out for the rest of the season). But the good news is that 3 of the injured linebackers (Rashaan Evans, Anfernee Jennings and Dylan Moses) will return to practice this week and may be ready for the Vandy game.
And speaking of Vandy, they will welcome the Tide with the same record as the Champs. After beating the 12th-ranked Kansas St. team last Saturday, the Commydoors are Un-dee-feated, fired up, and ready to play. This Saturday won’t be nearly as easy as last Saturday. But hey, let’s enjoy what we got so far! We’re 3-0 and now go looking for #4!
3 down, 12 more to go.
RTR!
Mercer at Auburn: The Barn is wondering what happened with their bon-e-fied “Offensive Genius”? He got his latest Heisman candidate quarterback and still couldn’t score but two field goals against Clemson. This, as they say, ain’t a good sign, y’all. The Gus Bus has had a rough time and definitely needs some work. So that means that Awbarn will do what Awbarn always does after they lose to a real team and then plays a cupcake – they will try to destroy their weak opponent. The rest of the world doesn’t think that running up the score on a lesser team makes up for a loss (and it certainly ain’t gonna convince the fans that the offense is not as bad as it obviously is – but, for some reason, that ain’t the way Gus thinks. The Mercer Bears limp into Barn-City after losing (by one-point) to Wofford last week. The only time they’ll be that close this week is prior to the opening kickoff. Barners get to play the bully and skin the Bears.
Samford at Georgia: It’s another battle of Bulldogs – both of whom come into this one UNDEFEATED! Wow! Of course one of these 2-0 records looks a tad better than the other. We don’t scoff at wins over Kennesaw State and West Alabama – formerly Livingston State Teachers College – but, the truth is that this one will be a bit of a “step-up” for the Samford Dogs. The G-Dawgs, however, are still riding high after their one-point beat down of the Golden Domers last Saturday. They will be looking ahead to their game against more Bulldogs (the Cowbell Gang) next Saturday – but it won’t matter. The G-Dawgs get their third victory on the season.
Purdue at Missouri: You know, if we didn’t like you, if you were our most despised enemy – we can’t think of a more horrifying punishment than to make you sit and watch this game from the opening kickoff to the handshakes. Your eyes would melt. You brain would wish it was on crack. It would be so bad, you might actually be tempted to become a Baylor fan! No torture known to man is more terrifying than the threat of having to watch this game. So, we warn you, DO NOT CROSS US! We are gone save this one on the D-V-R and we will definitely use it if circumstances call for it. You got that? Ok. Now that you are thoroughly intimidated, we’re going to pick Mizzou – and we’d best NOT hear any back talk from the likes of y’all! Mizzou wins or they get put on probation and we make them watch this game film every night for a year. We ain’t got time for mess like this.
Kentucky at South Carolina: We hate to toot our own horns but what did we tell y’all a few weeks ago? Say it again. The Lamecocks are “legit” this year. And, if they win this game they’ll be in first place in the SEC LEast – smiling like that guy that discovered that peanut butter and chocolate tasted good together. The Mildcats are undefeated too remember. This is a battle between a couple of short guys on stilts – both thinking that everybody should look up to them all the time. But only one is going to win this one – and it ain’t gone be the one wearing blue. The Lamecocks continue their magical season defeating the Mildcats and they start dreaming of making a December trip to Hotlanta.
Ole Miss at California: This is a tough game to pick. Both teams have had two uninspiring victories to start the season (though Ole Miss’s may be a tad less inspiring than Cally’s). Neither team has high expectations for this year, unless you count waiting for punishment from the NCAA to be announced – which, now that we think about it, is a pretty high expectation. The game is going to be played in the Land of crazy people – so that gives Cal something of an advantage. The main distinction between these two is the fact that one plays in the PAC 12 and the other plays in the SEC. And that makes the choice obvious. If the Black Bears can stay away from the hippies and the drugs, they will win and keep their unblemished record.
Louisiana-Lafayette at Texas A&M: You know, when you’re ahead by a touchdown with 18 seconds left and have the ball – and you kick a field goal –you’re either trying to make the score look better in the newspaper or you think 18 seconds is far too long to trust your defense to prevent the other team from scoring. In the case of Kevin Sumlin in last week’s game against Nichols State, it was both. Coach Kevin is mastering the fine art of winning a game in such a way that you make everyone feel like you lost. The A&Mers evened their record and provoked their fan base at the same time – which ain’t easy. So last week they barely beat a team that had no chance to beat them. This week they’re playing a team that actually might be good enough to beat them (although they’ve given up almost 400 yards rushing to each of their first two opponents, yikes!). This one may not be a gimme and if Coach Kevin thinks it is, his farewell tour may be cut short by nine games. We’re going to pick the Agony & Misery guys and hope that they play like a real SEC team and not like an intramural team from St. Catherine’s Home for the Infirm.
Kansas State at Vanderbilt: Vandy is so hot that their fans are having to wear asbestos suits just to watch the games. Big wins against Middle Tennessee and Alabama A&M have given everybody in Opryland the impression that the Commydoors are a legitimate tackle football team (now, the rest of us realize that this conclusion is completely unfounded but we’re gonna let them have their fun – so, don’t be mean, y’all). They are taking on their most powerful opponent so far this season, the K-St. Wildcats. The Purple People Eaters have devoured Central Arkansas and NC-Charlotte so far and look like a solid team. This game begins a stretch of 6 tough games for Vandy (after this one they face Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Ole Miss, and South Carolina) so, in other words, the dream is about to end – and turn into another typical Vandy nightmare. Reality will begin to set as the sun goes down this Saturday. Wildcats win and the rest of us feel sorry for the faithful Commydoor fan base – seriously, both those guys are some of the finest fellers you’ll ever meet.
Colorado State at Alabama: The Champs have their second home game of the year welcoming the 2-1 Rams from CoSt. This is the last “warm-up” before the SEC section of the schedule kicks in (the Tide plays seven straight SEC opponents beginning after this one) so this is the time to work out some kinks and get better in some more areas. But this is more than a “beatem n’ payem” game. Colorado State was the pre-season favorite to win the Big Sky conference crown, so they’re not exactly chumps – and the Tide will have to play some football to win this one. So maybe we will get to see some downfield pass attempts? Maybe we’ll see some good line play? . . . and some good protection for the quarterback, with some holes for the running backs to run through? . . . and . . . Ok, we won’t get greedy, but it would be nice to see a solid, 60-minutes out of the boys. Beatem and payem boys. Tide rolls to 3-0 on the year.
Tennessee at Florida: The Rocky Flops had a big win against the Sycamores last Saturday. The final score was 42-7 – but the Trashcan Kids scored their last TD with only 56 seconds left in the game. Coach Butch looks down on mere 28-point victories. He figgers teams don’t realize they’ve lost unless they get beat by at least 35. This week the plan is to play the Alleygators who haven’t won a game yet (their game against N. Colorado last week was cancelled due to Irma) – so they’ve had a full two weeks to look forward to this one. If the Swamp Things’ offense is as bad as it was against Michigan, they will lose. But we think they might be ready to roll this Saturday – and if so, they’ll hand the Little Candy Orange Slices their first loss of the season.
LSU at Mississippi State: The boys from the Red Baton get to travel to StarkVegas for their SEC opener. Again, both teams are undefeated and untested. Both teams have solid quarterbacks, solid defenses, and fairly strong kicking games – at least, that’s the way they’ve looked so far. Both teams need this win. Seems to be pretty even from where we sit. Lots will depend upon whether or not the LSU defense can contain Nick Fitzgerald. Lots will depend upon which team is able to hold on to the ball and not give up easy TDs. The Cowbells will be ringing and everbody will be excited – but we have a feeling that Coach O’s Tigurs are going to pull this one out. Tigurs beat the Bullies.
Irish fans thought they were back. They were excited about a big year. They were wrong:
Buckeye fans were already making their reservations for the CFP. Can you say “premature”?
Baylor fans are really having the time of their lives (that’s what standing on the ledges of tall buildings will do to you:
But what can we say for Awbarn fans. Poor fellows. They keep believing that Gus is an Offensive Genius ™. Sad.
This game started in the way that every game should start. After receiving the opening kick and returning it to the 27, Jalen passed a quick out to Cam Sims who ran for 18 yards to the Tide 45. Then Jalen ran up the middle for 55 yards for the TD. Nice. Neat. No muss. No fuss. And quickly Fresno St. is put on notice: “Guys, you’re only here for the money. Don’t get excited. Don’t dream of winning. It’s all for the money.”
There were two bright spots on offense that must not be overlooked: 1) A tight end actually caught a pass! For a TD! Yes! It’s true! (Hooray for Hale Hentges! and thank you Brian Dabol!) and 2) We got to see Tua Tagovailvoa! And he threw a TD pass (and should have had another one). In fact, we got to see a LOT of freshmen and backup players in this game and that was a very good thing.
Alabama A&M at Vanderbilt: Y’all, Vandy is hot. They just whipped the Middle Tennessee State boys like they stole something and won their first game of the season for the first time in 6 years! Now they are absolutely fired up to take on SWAC non-powerhouse, Alabama A&M – who got punished by UAB last week (losing by 31 points, which wouldn’t be so bad if UAB hadn’t abolished football 3 years ago – so, it’s bad). But this means that the Commydoors are going to start the season with a sho’ nuff boney-fied Winning Streak ™! They gonna be 2 and oh after this Saturday and all ready to welcome Kansas State into Opreyland next Saturday. Anchor down boys and tell everbody else to watch their toes!
Eastern Kentucky at Kentucky: The K-Kats had a nice win last Saturday down in South Mississippi and now get to welcome the Colonels of Eastern into Lexington. EKU opened their season by losing to Western Kentucky by 14 last week – so they’re looking for revenge in the Round Robin Kentucky Football Tournament. But they ain’t gone get it. The Kats may not be great but their good enough to win this one – and they need to be sure it ain’t all that close. Kats win and remain un-dee-feated!
Indiana State at Tennessee: We don’t know about y’all, but we couldn’t be prouder of “The Champions of Life” and the way they played that game against the YallaBees last Monday night. And who said they couldn’t hold Georgia Tech to under 700 yards of total offense?? Who?? We hope you’ve learned your lesson and that you’ll be more careful next time! And they looked so cute with their “Turnover Garbage Can” and all the guys slam-dunking the football in it. Have you ever seen anything more precious? And when the time ran out and they had won the game, they were soooo excited. Wow, brought tears to our eyes and we kept saying, “Somebody please give those boys a trophy!” And the next thing we were saying was, “Please give Coach Butch a contract extension, please, please!” Watching that game and how Coach B managed it convinced us more than we thought was possible that he’s definitely the coach for the Little Candy Orange Slices, definitely!– no doubt about it. Now the Rocky Flops have to pull everything together and get ready for the Sycamores who come in licking their wounds after losing by 2 points to Eastern Illinois last Saturday. They want revenge. They want to get in the win column. They will be disappointed. The Little Orange Candy Slices get their second win of the year.
Mississippi State at Louisiana Tech: Ok, so now that we’re done with the play-for-pay games, let’s look at the real schedule. The StarkVegas Bulldogs gets to travel to beautiful Northeast Louisiana to play the Bulldogs from Louisiana Tech. And it might be a real dog fight if the Mississippi Dogs make some mistakes. While the Mississippi Dogs were mashing Charlestown Southern, the Ruston Dogs were destroying Northwestern State. So this is the battle of the undefeated Dawgs. And when you got two dogs of the same kind fighting, you go with the bigger one – and the bigger one is the one from the Magnolia State. The Cowbell Gang moves their record to 2-0 and gets ready to welcome the Red Stick boys next Saturday.
TCU at Arkansas: The Pigs welcome the Christians from Texas into town for what should be one of the best games of the day. Both teams whipped up on punching bags last week (the Razorbacks scorched Florida A&M 49-7, while the Horny Frogs bludgeoned Jackson State 63-0) so this will be the first real game for both. The Frogs are favored but, for some reason, we kinda like the Hawgs in this one. Maybe it’s the memory of the Pig Lady’s songs; maybe it’s the images of Big Brett tripping and falling in front of everybody – we don’t know, but we’re going with the Pigs to sooey all over the Frogs for their second victory of the season.
Auburn at Clemson: Finally, we have a nice match up between two sets of Tigers. And again, it’s impossible to know just how good either one of these teams are based on their play last week. Anybody can eat a cupcake and both these teams devoured one (Clemson beating Kent State and Awbarn defeating Georgia Southern). So, who do you like? Both teams have new quarterbacks. Each one has lots of new faces on both sides of the ball. Both have high expectations. Both have dreams of championships. How can we decide? Well, we can decide like this: Which one is named “Awbarn”? Ok, thanks, they lose.
Ah, but the Shorthorn fans. It is amazing how losing one game can destroy all the love for a new coach. But, that’s what losing to Maryland will do that for you:
Nobody said ugly wins don’t count. They count. And it’s a good thing because this one was not whatchoo’d call a beauty contest winner. But don’t get us wrong, it was a huge win and we are sincerely thankful for it. But it was rough. Let’s consider the good, the bad, and the ugly:
Special Teams. We said before the game that mistakes and turnovers would be critical (yes, everybody says that, but everybody says it because it’s true) – and thanks to the Tide’s special teams, they were critical to a victory for the good guys. The turning point in the game came right at the end of the first half when FSU had an opportunity to tie the game with a field goal (important because they were going to receive the ball to start the second half) and the kick was blocked (by Minkah Fitzpatrick). This was a huge play that set the tone for the second half – which began with an early punt block (by Damien Harris) – and set the stage for a magnificent unraveling of the FSU offense. All-in-all it was a great night for Bama special teams (a blocked field goal, a blocked punt, and a fumble recovery on a kickoff).
The Ugly: Injuries. Alabama suffered the loss of four (4) linebackers in this game – two of them for the rest of the season. There is depth at that position (thank the Lord) but losing two of the best pass rushers (Christian Miller and Terrell Lewis) for the season didn’t help matters. That was a blow. But, as bad as this was, it wasn’t as bad as what the Noles’ endured with the season-ending injury to Deondre Francois (the FSU starting quarterback). That was brutal. Absolutely brutal.