Well, it’s nice when everything goes the way it’s expected to go. Everybody expected Alabama to dominate. It happened. Everybody expected seeing a lot of freshmen, second, and third team players get on the field for significant playing time. That happened. Everybody expected a solid performance. They got it.
The only thing that didn’t go a planned/desired was the injuries. Damien Harris and Bo Scarborough both left the game with leg injuries (Damien’s seemed to be worse – he didn’t return) but, according to the Sabanator, everybody’s going to be fine, so that’s good.
The Tide had no trouble running or moving the ball, scoring on their first seven possessions – making the score 21-0 after the first quarter and 41-0 at the half. And with the defense playing like the defense can play, it was an early “good night” for the Golden Flashes. Good job all around.
Next week the Champs return to SEC play, taking on the Mildcats who captured a stunning victory over the Lamecocks in Lexington Saturday night. So we can expect a good deal more competition this coming Saturday. But that’s then. For now let us give thanks for the fourth victory of the season and be very, very thankful we’re not LSU.
4 down, 11 to go for number 17
RTR
Kent State vs. Alabama: Hopefully the Champs will get to play some backups and recover from the nightmare at Vaught-Hemingway last week – as they welcome the “Golden Flashes” from Kent State into T-Town (and out of respect for the ladies and the chillren, we are not asking what that nickname means). The GFs come into Bryant-Denny off a big victory over Monmouth (which we think is a cave in Kentucky). But hey, they won 27-7, so you gotta respect that, right? Seriously. If you can score 27 points in the dark, shoot y’all, Gus Malzahn will be trying to get your quarterback to transfer! Don’t take these boys for granted. The Tide gets its fourth victory of the year.
Mississippi State vs. Massachusetts: The Cowbell Gang lost a heartbreaker in Red Stick last Saturday night – roaring back from a 23-6 deficit to lose 23-20 – so they’re ready to do some meanness to somebody this week. And, it turns out, that the victim will be the Minutemen of UMass. The fun thing about this game is that it will be played at Tom Brady Memorial Stadium way up there in Foxboro. This will be a great experience for Massachusetts. They haven’t had this many Mississippians in the state at one time in their entire history. For the Bullies, it’ll be like traveling to Afghanistan – neither group will be able to understand the other. Bullies will win but let us give this one piece of advice: If anyone offers to serve y’all grits – don’t accept. Just don’t.
Georgia vs. Ole Miss: The G-Dawgs have had some kind of year haven’t they? They may be the worst 3-0 team in the country (eeking out victories against Nicholls State and Mizzou) and will likely be playing the best 1-2 team in the country in the Ole Missuses. But they will have one advantage: they travel to Oxford at just the right time (while the Black Bears are still suffering from the “Alabama Hangover”) and so, they may be able to eek out another victory. But, we don’t think so. Chad Kelly and the rest of the Bears will be all ready to take out some frustration. After blowing two 21+ point leads – they will not be in the mood to show mercy to the Dawgs. Kirby Smart has gotten away with poor play for three weeks now, but that ends this Saturday – the Rebel Black Bears win and even up their season record at 2-2.
Florida vs. Tennessee: And speaking of teams playing other teams at the right time – what about the timing of the Clementines? They get to play Florida the week after the Reptiles lose their starting quarterback! Who says small citrus fruits don’t have good luck? We were all set to pick the Alleygators in this one but now, we wonder if they can pull it off without Luke Del Rio. On the road. Against a team they’ve beaten about 100 years in a row. It’ll be tough. In fact, because of all these factors, we’re going to go with the Clementines to squeak out a victory. If they win big, we’ll consider a nickname upgrade to “tangerine” status – but it better be impressive.
Delaware State vs. Missouri: Mizzou demonstrates that they know how to schedule a game after playing a tough opponent. Schedule someone like the 0-2 Delaware State Hornets (of the MEAC). The Hornets haven’t stung anybody in football (they even lost to Monmouth) and they certainly won’t be able to do much this week against the M-Tigs in Columbia. In fact, if Mizzou isn’t playing the cheerleaders by midway through the second quarter, they should be fined and placed on probation by the SEC. Mizzou wins and should be ashamed of themselves.
Vanderbilt vs. Western Kentucky: Some things never change. And there’s something comforting about that. Waffle House is always crowded when you want to go there. Chick-Fil-A always has dumb commercials. And Vandy is always TERRIBLE every fall. Imagine being a Vandy fan – and yes, we know, it’s easier to find a saber toothed tiger than it is to find a Vandy fan – but play along: No surprises. No expectations. You don’t have to worry about your niece scheduling her wedding on a Saturday during the fall. You can have quiet, philosophical discussions with the guy sitting next to you in the stadium during the game. Nice. Peaceful. No stress. Just imagine. Ok, well, back to business. Vandy loses another one and continues plodding down the road to the football equivalent of Mordor.
LSU vs. Auburn: Welcome to the Hot Seat Bowl! Here’s a game where, no matter who wins, both sides are going to be unhappy. An LSU victory gives more fuel to the “Fire Gus” movement down on the farm – and an Awbarn victory sends the “Exile Les” contingent in Red Stick into conniptions. And it works the other way too: If the Barn loses, the Wargles will take consolation in the fact that they get to hang Gus. If LSU loses, the Tigur fans will comfort themselves over the fact that Les is doomed. Meanwhile, we here at Fan HQ are caught slap dab in the middle cause we LOVE both these coaches and want each of them to get contract extensions! It’s a real dilemma. But, we think that the Tigurs are going to nail the lid on Gus’ coffin this Saturday. We hate to see the Gus Bus being pulled off the highway – but there’s no way to avoid it. The Louisiana Tigurs get the big victory (give Les and extension, y’all!). And Gus, we’re sorry to see you go, but please say “hello” to all our friends down in Division II.
South Carolina vs. Kentucky: Let’s talk about tough picks for a moment. We were all set before the season to pick the K-Kats in this one. But now, they’ve gone 1-2 on the year and look like a team ready to quit. We thought the Lamecocks would be 1-2 by this time – but instead, they’re 2-1 and looking like they might have some life under new head coach Will Musbecrazy. The Lamecock victory over East Carolina last week gives us pause. The 62 points the Kats put up against New Mexico State is making us a tad cautious about writing them off. It’s a home game for the Kats. Both teams desperately needs this game if they’re to have any hope of qualifying for a bowl game. It’s tough. But we’re going with the Lamecocks (and we’re not trying to make up for shunning them last week). Anybody who gives up 42 points to New Mexico State doesn’t inspire confidence. We expect SEC teams to have a defense that’s stronger than damp toilet paper. Cocks win and keep their Birmingham Bowl hopes alive.
Arkansas vs. Texas A&M: This should be the best game of the day. The battle of the Undefeateds in Jerry’s House in Big D. The A&Mers are coming off their big win over the Barners in Awbarn – while the Hawgs held a scrimmage against Texas State. If they win this one, the Hawgs will come into their game with Alabama undefeated (only Alcorn A&M stands in the way – which means, they’ll be undefeated). A&M has been impressive. But we like the Hawgs in spite of that. Big Brett has got his boys hungry (and if anybody knows hungry it’s Big Brett). Hawgtown is beside itself with joy and excitement. Everbody’s gone be putting on at least 10 pounds this weekend. Hawgs win – and they all convince themselves that the extra weight looks good on them.
Texas fans can’t believe they had to travel all the way to Berkley to get a very memorable loss – but, you know, they like to do everything BIG.
Notre Dame fans came into this season with such high hopes. Just like every other season. But . . . .
Things are very sad down at the Barn. Awbarn fans are finally coming to the realization that Colin Cowherd is a false prophet:
But, as great as these have been, the trophy goes to Ole Miss fans this week. They really take losing hard.
Hey, here’s an idea — why don’t we play really badly and do just about everything possible to lose this game, fall behind by 21 points with 2 minutes left in the first half, then get going and out score the other team 45-6 to take an 18 point lead with 5 minutes left in the game, and then give up a quick touchdown, lose an onside kick, give up another quick TD, and then have to get two first downs to run the last 3 minutes off the clock to preserve the victory? Whaddaya say? Sound like fun?
Alabama received the kick and proceeded to march down the field but then Jalen Hurts overthrew the tight end by about 5 feet when he was WIDE OPEN in the endzone and the Tide had to settle for a field goal. “Ok, we’re ok, things will be fine,” we said, doubting every word.
Thankfully, the Tide decided to play some tackle football. And for the next 27 minutes or so, outscored the Rebs 45-6, to take an 18 point lead with 5 minutes left in the game. Good. Game over. Right?
Vanderbilt vs. Georgia Tech: Did y’all hear that Vandy scored 47 points last week? Yeah, so did we. And we checked and sho nuff, they actually did it! We didn’t care enough to check out how they did it, but we did confirm that the rumor was actually true. Now, they have to go to Hotlanta and play the undefeated Yellowjackets. We don’t think G-Tech is a very good team, in spite of their 2-0 record. But we know that Vandy is terrible. So, unless they can figure out how to exchange airline reward points for touchdowns, Vandy loses this one – and waves goodbye to their .500 record (which they will not see again this season). The Commydoors continue their long, slow march into football oblivion.
East Carolina vs. South Carolina: We tried to warn the Lamecocks about overconfidence (and that fact alone proves both our unwarranted confidence in our ability to persuade as well as the invincible delusions of teams named after roosters when they happen to gain a victory over a horrible team) but our warning fell on deaf ears (roosters do have ears, right?) and so, USC (east) lost to the Cowbell Gang last week in StarkVegas. Now, they have to play the undefeated Pirates of East Carolina who won a tight game against North Carolina State last week. If there is any hope of a .500 season, the Cocks have to win this one – which means, of course, that they will say “goodbye” to the .500 season. Lame is as lame does. Pirates win again.
New Mexico State vs. Kentucky: This is another sad season for the K-Kats (beginning 0-2 ain’t exactly the best way to build up excitement and confidence) – BUT this Saturday, this Saturday y’all, the Kats have one of those rare opportunities to outscore their opponent. The excitement cannot possibly be higher – unless you have the opportunity to watch the annual Midwest Quilting Bee on the Outdoor Channel (which, compared to this game, will be nail biter). The Aggies are coming off their annual intrastate battle with New Mexico – which they won by one point! – and they’ll still be thinking about that one this Saturday which will give the Kats enough of an advantage to pull out the huge upset and earn Mark Stoops a Gatorade shower.
Texas A&M vs. Auburn: The Barn actually celebrated their victory over Arkansas State as if they’d won their 3rd National Championship. We’re happy for them. It’s cute watching people celebrate a victory over a Sun Belt conference team that lost to Toledo the week before. Just precious. But this week, they host the undefeated A&Mers – who are coming off a nuking of Prairie View A&M last week. It was such a bad beating that the World Council of Churches rebuked them for their lack of mercy. The Awbarn defense was pretty good against Clemson, but the question is, are they that good or was Clemson just not playing well? (we think the latter considering what Clemson did last Saturday) In any case, this could be a pretty good game but we think the A&Mers have just enough to get their third win of 2016.
North Texas vs. Florida: The Swamp Things continue their series of practice games this Saturday, taking on the “Not-so-mean” Green of North Texas. The “Unmean” Green are coming off a 41-20 victory over Bethune Cookman (and the mere fact that Bethune Cookman was able to score 20 points tells you all you need to know about N. Texas). The Alleygators continue to beat up on the little sisters of the poor to run their season record to 3-0.
Georgia vs. Missouri: While Georgia was trying to fight and claw to defeat Nicholls State last Saturday, Mizzou was beating Eastern Michigan like they stole something. So, if the Dawgs play like they did last week they could be in for a very sad afternoon. But we think they’ll put it together this week. Nick Chubb and Jason Eason will get it going and the M-Tigs won’t be able to keep up. Dawgs get their 3rd victory on the season and start acting like they’ve got plans for the rest of the season.